Thinking about upcoming changes

(Sheepishly stepping into view.)

(Ahem.) Hi, there.

I know, it’s been a while. Last time I wrote here, I convincingly blogged myself into a corner decision about buying a bicycle trainer in order to get more exercise while I’m pregnant, and guess what? I conveniently side-stepped that decision entirely. Basically, more symptoms came along and I’ve been pretty miserable, to the point where eating good food is more a priority than getting exercise. I’m sure you might be thinking I’m nauseous (which I am) and experiencing morning sickness, but actually I’m having problems with the opposite end of my anatomy. Yeah, that’s right, I’m having ass problems, and they suck pretty bad right now. It was bad enough a couple weeks ago that it was too painful to sit on the couch, and there was no way you would get me anywhere near a bicycle seat.

Now that I’m slowly conquering (though never entirely, thanks hormones!) my ass problems, I’m still living in la la land, pretending exercise doesn’t exist. And hey, I’ve lost a total of five pounds since getting pregnant, so hooray for that! I know I need to exercise some, and I’m really hoping that when my second trimester rolls around (in about 2-3 weeks) I will actually have some energy, along with the weather getting better in Spring, so that I can go for walks that don’t involve moaning, hiding from the bitter cold, clutching embarrassing parts of my anatomy, and/or grumpily demanding old person stuff like laxatives and foam donuts.

Meanwhile, I’m a little confused about what will become of this blog. This is supposed to be my health and nutrition and self-esteem blog, but suddenly it’s turned into my pregnancy blog. I’m trying to figure out what is the best way to deal with this. Should I rebrand this blog as a family/crafting/nutrition blog? ‘Cause I could also geek out on all the natural childbirth stuff I’ve been reading up on. Or should I abandon this blog entirely? Has it served its purpose? I don’t know. Maybe I really just need a blog for other stuff. I definitely notice I’m more drawn to the crafting/family blogs lately, which surely is a sign. I have a personal online diary that is mostly protected and private, but it’s more of a diary, and I can’t put all my content there. I have the feeling once the baby comes, my life will change so dramatically that writing about health and self-esteem are going to be in such a different context, I won’t want a weight loss blog so much as I’ll want a mommy blog.

Anyway, stay tuned for some kind of decision. I’d like to work this out pretty soon so I can write about what’s really on my mind (natural childbirth!) instead of feeling guilty for not writing about exercise.

Champion napper and award-winning sloth, at your service

This past week I’ve had some setbacks, and since I haven’t blogged yet this week, that must mean it’s time to write down my setbacks and try to think my way through them…

Remember how I was so chipper in recent posts? Well, pregnancy fatigue has hit me like a brick wall, and I am struggling to stay awake until 9pm most nights. I don’t mind going to sleep early (bring it on!), but it means my after-work workout mojo is M.I.A. Plus, in a blow to convenience and my serious tv addiction, the awesome bicycle trainer I borrowed to help me exercise indoors has been recalled to its original owner. I had one good week where I did 20 minutes every night after work, watching tv shows as I pedaled, with the wireless headphones on so I could hear those American Idol auditions over the bike’s noise, really enjoying myself. Sure, it made our small living room even more crowded, and the vibrations were such that I would get uncomfortably numb in, ahem, certain delicate areas, but it was exercise! With! Television! Fare thee well, idyll!

Even the mild Pacific Northwest climate is conspiring against me, with many mornings of freezing fog and freezing temperatures. I thought with a mild winter we’d be mostly into Spring weather by now. Apparently that was a little too optimistic. With the cold as hell mornings and my recent sleep addiction, it just doesn’t seem feasible to get up before work to walk as I was doing in the fall. That will have to wait until Spring, um, springs.

One option is to invest in my own bicycle trainer, but with even the cheap ones going for $80 on Amazon (and not much cheaper on eBay) they are just expensive enough to make me pause. Is that money better spent on credit card bills? Should I get over my cheap instincts and just make the investment? Ignore the vibrations (or is it the bicycle seat?) that limited me to 20 minutes and count some exercise as better than none?

The problem is that I know the correct answer to these questions, and I’m grumpy because it doesn’t really accommodate my rigorous schedule of couch lounging.

But hey, if I’m unhappy with making the right decision, I’m pretty sure my doctor will have some real tough love for me at my first prenatal appointment. Can you picture her reply when I report that rather than take prevantative steps (literally! ha ha) against gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, I’ve chosen to indulge my need to watch culturally engaging entertainment like Daddy’s Girls and Jon & Kate Plus Eight from the vibration-free sanctuary of my couch.  And that it’s easier to imagine making an extra credit card payment (which, let’s face it, probably wouldn’t happen) rather than spend it on a device that can reduce my risk for scary complications.

Okay, I think this blog post has done its duty. I now feel pretty guilty (but mostly silly) for avoiding an $80 solution to a lifelong problem. A bicycle trainer won’t bring about world peace, but it will make me a fitter, happier, healthier mama, that’s for sure.

I like when I can turn around decisions from being about shame (stop impersonating a human sloth!) to being about practicality and self-care. Now I just have to follow through on this one: I will check in on how it goes.

Big news and big changes

Well, it’s finally happened. I’m pregnant! It’s very exciting even though I’m trying to be only cautiously optimistic. It is still early (week 5 or 6) and who knows what will happen — I’m going to stay cautious until I get into the second trimester. Normally I wouldn’t announce it here, except of course there are some big changes in my life that I want to record.

First, I have started eating according to the pregnancy Daily Dozen recommended in the occasionally annoying and paranoid but super helpful What To Expect When You’re Expecting book. Since I am already overweight, I am ignoring the first of these dozen, which is to eat 300-350 extra calories per day. This simply doesn’t apply as strictly if you’re overweight, and my highest goal is to lose some weight as I progress, as I eat healthier and exercise and my body sheds what it doesn’t need. But don’t worry, I am still eating a lot! And I am eating super healthy foods. And (get this), so far I’m losing weight. Crazy, right? I’m sure it won’t be this easy the whole time, but at least I’m getting a healthy jump on things.

My sister gave me the What To Expect Pregnancy Journal & Organizer to go with my book, and though at first I thought it would be overkill, it’s turning out to be really helpful. There is a food tracker where you tick off which foods you’ve eaten. The Daily Dozen is not necessarily intuitive, as many foods count in multiple categories, so I actually sat down and made myself a little spreadsheet showing all the foods and serving sizes. It’s now on my fridge, for easy reference while I’m cooking or packing lunches, and I keep the journal on the counter so I can tick things off as I go. (I’m happy to send the spreadsheet to anyone if you want it, I just can’t figure out a way to upload it and make it legible.) The categories I’m supposed to eat daily are: protein (3), calcium foods (4), vitamin C foods (3), green leafy/yellows (3-4), other fruits & veggies (1-2), whole grains & legumes (6+), iron rich foods (some daily), fat (4), salt, fluids (8+), and of course the prenatal vitamin.

Since I’m still not eating sugar (and not missing it, dudes!), this is what a typical day’s food looks like for me:

Breakfast:

2-3 eggbeaters in an omelette with spinach, tomatoes and cheese, with one piece of rye toast with margarine. Some apple left over from making my lunch, and a mug of milk.

Lunch:

This is my wonderful Laptop Lunchbox filled with quinoa, carrots, yogurt dip, tomatoes, almonds and some cheese.

Snacks: Typically some fruit, lately clementines or apples, or a cheese stick.

Dinner: Some kind of light protein with whole grains and green leafy vegetables. As I recently announced to my husband, “We’re going to need to get used to have Kale and Spinach in the house at all times.”

*

The journal is also configured to track exercise, but it’s in a separate section from the food, which I find counterintuitive. The exercise section does have a nice table so you can say what you did and how you felt afterward, but I don’t think I’m interested in that. So I’ve been penciling in an Exercise line beneath each week’s tracking table so I can write in the minutes. It works for me! But tracking exercise is only fun because I have finally solved my hate-to-go-out-in-the-cold exercise aversion! My wonderful brother has loaned me this contraption that turns my bike into a stationary bicycle! This thing is pretty cool. It pushes resistance on the back wheel to give you something to push against, and it’s a compact enough set-up that we are leaving it in the living room. Yesterday I hopped on for the first time and biked for 20 minutes. I forgot that it takes me a while to get used to how the bicycle seat feels, so I’ll have to build stamina for longer workouts. My goal is to get 30 minutes each day, and as it gets warmer outside this spring I can also take walks in the evenings.

So that’s where I’m at. Oh! One more picture for you. I recently checked out my Physics Diet stats to get a historical feel for where I am as I start pregnancy, and here it is:

Weight since May 2008

While I’m not at a historic low, I sure am close! I took a long hiatus from tracking on PhysicsDiet, but I’m committed to checking in about once a week to keep track of how my pregnancy progresses. Mostly I’m just happy to see here that in less than a year I’ve managed to lose around 10 pounds, even if many of them have been gained-then-lost-again along the way.